Unloved in the church?

Here's part of an email I got from a dear friend...

"Wanting to feel a part of things is one of the biggest reasons I have a huge problem with church - it is time and time again the unfriendliest place I've ever encountered, I don't fit in try as I might, all while everyone's talking about love."

What do you think? Have you experiences been the same? If so, what might the causes be? What could be a solution? At the risk of sounding horribly cliche, what would Jesus do?