Captivating - An Introductory Review

I (Anna) am going to do a slow review of the book “Captivating” by John and Stasi Eldredge. I have read this book multiple times and I will attempt to offer some different viewpoints and both criticism and appreciation for some of its ideas. I am not attempting to construct a formal argument for anything, but mostly respond with my personal experiences and beliefs to the ideas presented in “Captivating”.

So, I shall begin with a few thoughts on the book as a whole and proceed in a post soon to come in which I will respond to various passages from the first chapter which I have strong thoughts regarding. I will discuss additional chapters in the weeks/months to come. I hope that those with opinions on the matter feel free to share and discuss this book/topic with me.

1. This book presents a distorted view of God and a distorted view of women, which I will demonstrate through some concerns I have with specific passages throughout the book in future posts.
2. The authors do not seem to be purposefully leading individuals astray from Biblical truth, but through their incautious use of Scripture and their use of non-scriptural ideas (which are often presented in a manner in which to make them appear scriptural - directly or indirectly) there remains a very large problem that this book possesses a very culturally specific and erroneous view of both who women are and who women should be.
3. Much of what the authors have to say is positive and is in accord with a Biblical worldview – that women are distinct from men and that feminism does not provide an answer for how women are to live in order to please God – but their exaggerated view of women falls far short of “gospel” truth and places restrictions on the ways in which men and women can interact with each other and with God.
4. I DO NOT believe that men and women are the same and no differences exist between the gender…I feel quite the opposite in that there are differences between men and women, as there are differences among women, and differences among men. One is deeply misguided in using “all” and “every” to describe half of the human population. What is it that makes the authors so bold as to presume that they know what every single woman ever thinks and feels? Who gave them this vast knowledge? This book replies upon gender stereotypes (though they deny it) in a way that is incomplete, culturally dictated and old fashioned. It glorifies the Hollywood image of a man who is wild, independent and strong as well as a woman who desires relationships, wants to be rescued by a knight in shining armor and wants to wear dresses and be seen as beautiful. They do not allow for the diversity of mankind, for all people are different.
5. This book is written to middle-class America, while claiming to be true of all time and all the world. Throughout the book they insist that the desires that women have are present in all women from childhood. I am not denying that they believe this to be true; however, my experiences have told me that in practice it is not true for many women. For one, it is not true of me; I do not fit into their mold. So that’s one out of the “all” that it isn’t true for. I have multiple friends who found this book to be insulting and inaccurate as well. I have worked with a diverse population of people through my jobs over the past couple years, and I have not encountered these three desires to be so overwhelmingly true. In fact, in the many teenage girls I developed relationships with while working as their caseworker and legal guardian, I spent a lot of time talking to them and learning about them and asking questions about their hearts, and not once not did any of them mention a desire to be beautiful, to share an adventure or to be romanced. Sure, they wanted to wear trendy clothes and they wanted boys to like them, but these were not the primary desires and goals they shared with me. I would challenge the authors to take their counseling practice out of their comfortable offices and move it to downtown Cincinnati and work with the clients who don’t have the money to pay for the sessions and see what those people have to say.