brokenness

Working daily with school age children keeps me on my toes...I never know what is going to come out of their mouths....and unfortunately, more often then not, I find my heart aching for them...

Things that break my heart:

• The 6 year old boy who told me that he and dad broke up with mom and he doesn't know where she lives.
• The brother and sister who frequently have large scratches and bruises, and when I ask about it, quickly say their dog got too rough playing with them.
• Seeing the kids playing "house" and how quickly the question of "okay, when is it time for us to get a divorce" comes into play.
• Listening to the kids talk about dad's first wife, dad's second wife, dad's current girlfriend, and their mom - all separate people. (and it goes both ways)
• The brother and sister who were concerned the day their mom was late to pick them up because she had gone to court for a custody battle that afternoon and they thought that neither their mom or their dad would want custody of them and they'd be homeless.
• The parents who drop off their kids at 7:00am on the dot (the earliest they're allowed) and don't pick them up until 6:00pm on the dot (the latest they're allowed). These same parents have jobs that don't start until 8, 9, 10am. One particular mom is rarely there to pick her 11 year old up before 6, and I know for a fact that she gets off work at 4:30 at an office that does not allow employees to work overtime, and it is only a 30 minute drive away.
• An 8 year old boy who told me he hates going home and wanted to go to his grandparent’s house instead. When I asked why, he said his parents only bought him a Game Cube, XBox 360, and Playstation 2...but they don't have a Wii which his grandparents do.
• The shock and confusion upon their faces when I say I have no video games, I don't even have cable/satellite. They can't understand what I do, and I tell them that I read and cook and play games and spend time with my husband. The last item is the one they're most confused about; they never have their parents spend time together.

Bob Pierce, the founder of World Vision is known for his quote "Let my heart be broken with the things that break Your heart". That is a quote I have been familiar with for years, a prayer I have prayed many times. While World Vision is a fantastic organization, they do many great and wonderful things; I wish people could realize how many heart breaking things are going on right here, right next door, in our schools, in our streets. And it's not the hunger that is being addressed by soup kitchens and discount organizations, it's not homelessness that shelters are working to eliminate, it's not hurricanes and tsunamis and earth quakes, it's not even always direct child abuse or physical neglect.

These children are starved for attention, desperate for love. They go home to empty homes...some literally and others might as well have no other person on them, for the television is the only thing that has any light and life to it. Toys are given to replace time; video games are given to take the place of real contact.

I wish I could tell these kids it will be okay, it'll get better. But, for the most part, it's not going to get better. It will be different, yes, but not better. They'll grow up and leave behind their Webkins and Pokemons; they'll turn to boyfriends and girlfriends, drugs and alcohol, more media items....more emptiness.

Don't feel like I've got anything to give
So I guess I've got nothing to lose...
I wanna give You everything
But I've got nothing of my own at all
And if I give what I have not got
Will You fill me up and make me whole...
-The Normals

I don't know what I can do, for I realize I can never take the place of an absent mom or a disinterested dad. I cannot fill that void, that need that they have. I'll do my best; I'll tie their shoes and brush their hair. I'll smile and hug them, I'll sit down and listen intently to anything they have to say, I'll continue to ask questions about their lives, and I hope to someday not received a confused expression and "why would you care" reply when I ask how their day was...I want them to know that I completely and wholly care about everything they are. And maybe, just maybe, I will someday convince even just one of them that they are valuable, precious, lovable, and I love them for who they are.

-Anna-


From this morning's Cincinnati Enquirer:

Study: Family violence costs $1B

Family violence costs Ohio an estimated $1.1 billion a year in social and health-care services, according to a report out today by the Health Policy Institute of Ohio. The report, "The White Paper on Improving Family Violence Prevention in Ohio," concludes that 14 percent of Ohio children will be maltreated by the time they reach age 18." Authors also conclude that at least 3 percent of seniors will be abused, and almost one in four women will be abused by a spouse or domestic partner in her lifetime. Kenneth Steinman, lead author of the report and an assistant professor in Ohio State University's College of Public Health, called the findings "truly disturbing." "Family violence affects a large number of people in Ohio each year," Steinman said. "However, this is almost a hidden crisis, with the general public and many state leaders unaware of just how widespread and costly family violence is to both individuals, families and our entire community." In figuring the cost of family violence, researchers looked at the cost of medical care for victims, including emergency room visits and mental health treatment, and social services, including foster care for abused children and shelters for battered women.

And just think...that is only talking about physical violence. It isn't even talking about those kids, spouses, and seniors who are emotionally, verbally, or mentally abused or neglected, the ones who are "starved for attention" and "desperate for love." If a full 14% of children are physically abused and almost 25% of women, then how much larger must the neglect problem be?

-Ryan-