One Day You Will

I just "heard" a song for the first time, though I had listened to it many times before. And then I put it on repeat for 30 minutes.

I had just left a residential treatment center where I was visiting a 13 year old girl I've been working with since last August. I'll call her Sarah. Anyways, since her mom signed custody over the the county in August for not being able to handle Sarah's behavior the mom has moved 4 hours away and all other relatives in the area have said on the record in court that they don't want her. So she bounced around between 4 foster homes in 1.5 months - each one not being able to handle her and each time I had to go pick her up from wherever she was...Hamilton, Columbus, Cincinnati and drive her to the next stop and see the tears that silently fell down her cheeks as yet another person gave up on her. Eventually in November Sarah entered this treatment center that's supposed to be for 2-3 months..and she's been there for 8 months. She hates it. I hate it! But my hands are tied because I am obligated by the law to continue to try to reunify her with her mom who says with her words that she wants her daughter back, but every action says the opposite, and as long as she shows up for court sometimes, I have to keep working. So that means Sarah is abandoned and alone, unwanted and afraid. She wants to go home, she wants her mom to want her. I'm only required to visit her every 30 days, but lately I've been visiting her every week because it's just breaking my heart. Every time she asks when she can go home and every time I have to break her heart and say "I don't know sweetie". Every morning when I get to work I have a voicemail from the staff at the center reporting what went on with Sarah over night...she got into a fight, she refused to leave her room, she went outside and wouldn't come back in...she's a depressed and forgotten girl. I do the best I can while I'm swamped with a million other things to do, I make the time to send her a card I wrote on her favorite color of paper, I google to find some printable stationary with her favorite cartoon character on it...these things seem small to me, but it's the only attention she gets and the couple days after she gets them in the mail I don't get any messages about her behavior.

So I had just left from visiting Sarah and I was feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders as I held her heart and her future in my hands. And this song by Lady Antebellum popped up on my cd player...please give it a chance and read it through...if you can, listen to a clip of it on iTunes, it means a lot more when you hear the depth of the voices singing it...

You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now,

But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet,

But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will
One day you will
Oh one day you will!

My goal is a find a way to impart to Sarah even a glimpse of the hope that drips from the lyrics of this song. And I want to take it beyond Sarah, to other children who are lost and hurting - and to their parents. I want to take it to my co-workers in hopes that they can take it to their clients.

And I want to take it to you, my friends, so you can be encouraged to spread hope to those you touch in your life. I know at the core it's the essence of the Gospel and I'm not trying to minimize that aspect of it...but hope is so simple and it is so desperately needed and I think I'm finally starting to get somewhat of a grasp on the depth of this matter and the breadth of my ability to do something, and I've realized that I've spent most of my life standing still waiting to find something to do. I was waiting for writing on the wall to tell me how to love people instead of just opening up my eyes to the brokenness that I've always been aware of but never accepted. It's not necessary to send money to missionaries over seas...certainly not a bad thing, but that money is needed here. It's not necessary to spend a day building a house, again it's a good thing, but it's simpler than that, it's just loving the children who have no one to do so. I know it's not for everyone, but I beg of you, if you ever have the opportunity, please reach out to these unwanted children. There are countless ways...volunteer to be a mentor, donate to a cause that provides for children in foster care, advocate for a child in the court room - these are all things anyone can do! If you want more information, I'll gladly share with you. There are families and generations stuck in an endless cycle of abuse that will never be corrected until these children learn that their lives are beautiful and worth living, that their voice is worth hearing and they are lovable.

Again, you may not feel the pull that I feel, but I know that you have the heart and talents to make a difference in the world I am working.

I wanna do something that matters
Say something different
Something that sets the whole world on it's ear
I wanna do somethin better, with the time I've been given
And i wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
And leave nothin less that something that says I was here!